Extra Deadbolts for the Ex-Stay-At-Home Dad

My husband moved out of our house today. He was a stay-at-home dad for our two young children.  He wants to continue to watch them while I am at work which will allow him access to our home.  I am fine with him watching them for now since daycare for two would be very expensive and it is not in my budget. I would like to install deadbolts that would lock him out of the house when he is not supposed to be here such as at night or weekends.   I can lock him out right?  He mentioned to me this afternoon, if he can not afford rent where he is at he will move back.  Can he move back in with out me agreeing?
Usually when one spouse leaves the marital residence, the spouse who has remained there can bar the other from moving back in.  However as long as the house is titled in both names, both spouses are legally entitled to the use of the property.
Often I see that spouses who have separated try to resolve things informally.  Sometimes this works, but it also puts off problems that have to be dealt with later when it has become a crisis, such as each parent insists on having the children for Christmas.  What you and your husband need to do is establish clear ground rules on several things:
  • Who is going to keep the children and when is the other parent going to get visitation?
  • What is going to happen to the house?
  • Who is going to pay any debts that you have?
  • How are the parents going to divide financial responsibility for the children?
  • Will there be any form of alimony?

If the two of you cannot work out the answers to these questions between yourselves, you will need to get the help of a lawyer or mediator.  If you wait until there is a confrontation over one of these questions, it will be much harder to work out.